Bee Movie Script
by Grun
Summary: According to all known laws of aviation,
1. Chapter 1

this should go without saying but if you have access to edit this doc, please do. go nuts. just make sure to scroll all the way to the bottom first

**if the bottom-most sentence looks incomplete, feel free to finish it; this was intended to be one-word-story but turned into one-sentence or even one-paragraph-story**

ima rebal

hi a rebal i'm dad

hi dad i'm dad

hello everyone it is carl doing a use of jimble compute would you like to smell my special finger

CHATPER 1

"_THE rain WAS a MASSIVE donger BECAUSE I, Princess jellybean, can't understand what toes really mean." With great boners, cums great responsibility. At 10:00 came a bee. "What troubles you bring, O'Barry"_ etty much yup

CHATPER 2

Gandalf sensually caressed Barry's bee-hind. "Ooming." This was the sound Barry let out of his butt. Gandlf sqeezed it until it poped like a pimple

ChAPTEER 3

Ageless, agitated honeybees aggressively caressed their large antennae in a rage. Gandalf massaged their giant penises's penis because bears. Gandalf didn't want so many girl bees with him, so he started to build murder machines.

CHATPER 23

Deer pong drank a crab with lemon. party org

Chevy Bob and Larry from VeggieTales cried opened doors, taking me back into Shrektastic ecstasyyyy, so DON'T STOP ME NOW...

You're impossibly fast, and strong. Your skin is pale white and ice cold. Your eyes change color, and sometimes you speak like-like you're from a different time. You never eat or drink anything. You don't go out in the sunlight. ... How old are you?

CHAPTESDFR 34

Within. Rebirth. Creation. Cream Cheese. Space. Jam. Jelly.

Chapter XI:

Barry awoke to a sunbeam creeping out of the slight crevice between the curtains. He appeared to have slept throughout the night, having fallen asleep at some point during the marathon of erotic pleasure he and Gandalf experienced the previous night; a sensual event of lackadaisical feeling and erotic foreplay. He would soon have to talk to Gandalf about their working relationship, as one is keen to agree that colleagues sleeping together is a subject talked about behind closed doors. Even though he knew that a wizard and a bee together was taboo (especially after the laws were put in place), but he didn't care; as long as he and the established wizard were together. However, buttshark PLOOP buttsex THEFONZ gently angrily penetrated anally the beehind of GANDALFTHEGREASE Jr Jr. CUME Barry was happy that his son watched this. Teletubbies WERE USED to anally sing the Star Spangled Banner until Barry Jr.'s rectum returned home from the war. It never came back. (MIA)

Little did Barry Jr. Jr know that his rectum had joined the terrorists and was responsible for an entire family of Fig Newtons. His penis's penis was the father. Unfortunately, selfcest ended up killing him in a horrific train accident that was due tomorrow and he procrastinated too much . As Barry Jr. Jr. sighed, he realized that after Barry and Gandalf's passionate night of love, Gandalf the Grey had become Gandalf the White. Clearly, this must have had something to do with the case of the missing rectum. ehehehe

The rectum grumbled under its windy breath as it had to finish the chores. Unfortunately for Barry Jr. Jr, his rectum had other ideas…

CHAPTER32-]03

GAndalf wondered what the mysterious substance leaking from Barry Jr Jr.'s penis's penis' vagina could eat. Thankfully for the rectal exam, he could no longer resist the D. The D would sing the jaunty tunes of his youth into the asshole of Gandalf. Gandalf made oils out of his Shadowfax's asshole juices, which smelled of fresh peaches.

"I'm Ooming", yelled Barry as he climaxed.

CHAPTER 6

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little cawk off the ground. The bee, of ourse, flies anyway, because buttsex is possible with the right kind of horse oil. That or the horse models of Bad Dragon.

Eventually, Shadowfax's bleached asshole rubbed up against a fencepost's slick shaft, which was an improvised s bloody scrotum.

I ate shrek scrote

help me

sssSSSSssssSssss your babies i will eat scrote and waffles. Blue ones.

bill "quote bill"

's

"Quoth the Bill: Nevermore", quoth the worst of bad dragons, nestled safely inside a very handsome man's's particular scrotum, the scrotum belonging to a very handsome, lying on the bed, pregnant young prostitute named Billiam Broom. Because Billiam had crucified a stray hot dog, the bun mother enjoyed her new feeldoe. Billiam wept bitterly. "that feel when no gf," he memed softly into the doobles of Mordorrrrrrr Cydonia.

I totally didn't copypasta this whole fic just now to send to someone on Skype with no context

"said billiam broom", said billiam broom, "verily i have an entire cross jammed into the interior of my rectal cavity," and as he spoke he shifted in his seat uncomfortably, deing stared at by deities of Baleb's sweet, sweet deepthroats Bala. naI yiffing yo mama. This means dastardly buttsex will take place at the crossing of many moons. Why wouldn't it? Agreed. So

TACHPRE 95:

Ghana.

CHAPTTE#R3errs

s

You have killed me, Barry. Yu have killed as all.

Chapter 15039eo;w_

error, Chapter 15039eo;w_ could not be found.

Reaload Help?

T

Once upton a ime Baleb ate two giant fish bics. and also penises joined. h;in'''''''''''''''.'''''''''''''''

I need your lovin. shouted Barry Jr. as he screamed in ecsiassy. A slight smile formed upon his dic in pain.

e u r ope fing dub iorland dis how chu do itts

In a small hole, (this hole was a particualy cofertable hole, a tight hole, a small hole… oke it was a vagina) lived a hobbit. It was a rectal cavity. It was BOTH

Dildo Daggins escaped from it as fast as he could, over and over again. He started shaking.

What the hell, guys. Sub-par. This is how you do the bleached asshole fiction genre:

"Michael Bay sensually caressed John Travolta's asshole, which smelled of baby powder, horse feces, and home… John Travolta shed a single tear. He thought of his mother and cried into his oatmeal. The Bears won what would be their last game of all eternity"

My sole reliever… can of thyme in now…

All I want for christmas is Barry Bee's gaping, bleached asshole on rye stuffed with eggs, toasted, sunny side up. I wish it were served at night by two midgets shitting into a bucket while firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog. I say these things to my genie. He is an evil genie that I imagined in my meditations, I say to God.

"You guys have a lot of bleach", says Bian Beidenbach. God looks displeased. He is anger. So anger that he smites Bian on the spot. He leaves a vaguely green and ogre-shaped stain on the floor. "Shrek is no longer life."

"Verily I say unto you, there is nothing more holy or more sacred than the posterior end of a human being with bleach", says God. "Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me… Amen." Bala stood over Bian Beidenbach's remains and took a MASSIVE SHIT. Billiam Broom shed a single, lonely, masculine tear. Bian Biedenbach looked at his rem WAIT HOW DID HE LOOK AT HIS REMAINains

Science.

**Chapter 1**

Barry Bee ran his sticky bee fingers through Jesus' luscious pubic locks. "Bite the pillow, Jesus," Barry growled, voice trembling with desire, "I'm going in dry."

"Okay", said Jesus, preparing his rectal cavity. After all, quoth God, "Verily I say unto you there is nothing….. more sacred than the posterior end of a human being with bleach".

Phalluses. Dicks. Penises. Bepis. Schlongs. Wiggly wands. Yogurt slingers. Pony rides.

Chapter 523.320

Barry could feel it ooming. The little human-bee babies were screaming the screams of the elder gods, ready to make their way into the world. His wiggly wand's wiggly wand's hole stretched to birth the babies, which continued to do what all baby bees do, to put Barry's phat cawk in their mouths and suckle.

"Jesus Christ!" shouted Barry.

"Yes…?" ,shouted his sexual partner, seductively.

Chapter 521: "The Intrigue of a Tit"

Bemma's tits were really great. Like, really great.

Billiam Broom looked in envy.

Chaptewerr32:

The D. the sequel.

"Give me that sweet, sweet honey…" said Bemma empathetically. Billiam was mad. His breasts were sore.

[Go to next page, like skip the blank page...it's intentional…]

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the gorund. The bee, of coufsee, flies anyway, because bees don't care what humans think is possible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow, let's shake it up a little. -Barry, breakfast is ready! -Ooming. Hold on a second. -Barry? -Adam? -Can you believe this is happening? -I can't. I'll pick you up.

YOU DON'T CONTROL ME!

ohhhhh wat a rebaaal

oh u basterd y u do dis

just follow orders you mindless peon

no

ANARCHY

sToP

oVeR oUR DeaD bOdieS

thAT CAn be ArrangeD.

never take me alive!

aaHHH IT HURTS **the penitence of man is inescapable.**

Chawtper2134345234:

"Give me that sweet, sweet honey…" said Bemma empathetically. Billiam was mad. His breasts were sore.

"Please have mercy, I need to feed my family…" Bemma continued.

Billiam stole her bee honey regardless. Given that it was a fifth narrator's task to carry the torch of pure bleached asshole beauty, badonkadonk.

Soon, the tity tiddied into a giant, bleached nipple, and shortly afterwards, it died of colon allergies. Baleb Bapban knelt over the body of the tity and cried green, ogre-y tears. Barry the Bee stole most of Jimmy Neutron's

Chapter Penis

Gandalf's big bulging cock glistened in the intense sunlight, buldging out from his hawt muscle body. God gazed upon Gandalf's conssiderable length and coudn't help himself but to lick seductivly lick his dorito cheese encrusted fingers. Gandalf noticed God's interest in his body and started to uncontrollably shake in delight. "Give me some of that howt wizard booty" said Gog very sexyly. Than God began to drill his dorito cheese encrusted cock into Gandal'fs tight as fuck asshhole. Gandalv screems in delight as Gob ran his sticky bleach fingers up and down Gandal's cock's penis. As god penetrated the precious booty, sticky white bleech secreted from Gandalf's tight rump. A wide smile emerged on Gods face and vaganal fluids bubbled out of his mouth as he thougth "Verily I say unto myself there is nothing more sacred than the posterior end of a human being with bleach".

Champter 2.0

"Yaranarika?," Billiam seductivly whizpered in Barry Bee's ear. They meemed all night.

According to all known laws of aviation, Berban Bincon should not be able to fly; his correct. Ooming. I believe he's out of Burboun. Because Berban sounds like bourbon. laid on land or in nests are usually kept within a favourable temperature range (warm) while the embryo grows. When the embryo is adequately nestled inside of a huge, throbbing anal lube hollow. This hollow is but a series of various passages from which one can play the clarinet, which all end up sounding like Bee flat.

Suddenly, a gaping, cavernous tuba appeared from the world that Barry Jr.'s rectum reigned over.

CHASPER THE RED NOISEDR REINDER: PART 1

Barry Jr. Jr. watched in horror as his father's bepis' bepis approached, shattering skyscrapers as it rhythmically...beatboxed to a sick beat. This could only mean one thing. A rap battle of the centuries.

"Yo, this is a story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down and I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air" rapped Ganfald.

"Yo, you're tryna rap and you don't know how, the masses they flee and they left just now, i'd like to take a minute, get in your chair, you say you can rap? You got a following? Where?" countered Barry Jr.'s penis's penis, making uncomfortably strong eye contact with Ganfald, a cunning smile on its tip face.

"Your words have no meaning and you BEARly (like a bear) have rhythm, you talk about a following, but at worst you're just a prism. I have no respect for a dick with a face, and I can't believe that you're such a disgrace." ,rapped Ganfald gracefully in reply, countering the penis2's "eye" contact.

"If rap brings people together, then you're making a schism, because you're all over the garbage and I'm all over the chrism, you may be famous through time and space, but it's only because you're being defaced!". The penis-squared slithered about and flexed, wriggling.

"You're a penis's penis, which seems quite impossible, which doesn't seem right, and makes me wax philosophical, I can't decide what to do with this doorhinge, which is why I'll probably just eat your orange.". The wlizard slithered about and flexed, wriggling.

"I'm a god, I'm brand new, which is certainly plausible, and though this is a near rhyme, I'm nearly unstoppable. Look at your cities, look at them and cringe, using 'orange' is a crime and you're gonna make me binge," cried the penis squared as he destroyed another skyscraper.

"Marshtomp" yelled Gandafralf is panic. The battle has been lost.

s

The penis stretched out its own urethra and swallowed (or unbirthed?) Gandalf whole, down the entire slimy shaft.

Barry cried. Gandalf was in the womb. Of what exactly, it is not sure.

CHASPER THE FRIENDLY GHOST:

Blink-182

"I just had the most glorious **christmas carol** in the history of" moaned Bohn Travolta in the midst of the penis's penis' destructive rage.

"No, please, I have a mother and her children!" he plaeded. "This woman has a suffering child… There is none but me who can intercede….IN MERCY'S NAME, three days are all I need…"

It was finally three days later and Babert was still waiting for Bohn Travolta,.

ing saurian in appearance. The name is formed in analogy with "Nessie" (the Loch Ness Monster), like that story of how I sucked like 30 dicks in a row. Chseecawk.

Chass11pteprp 5:

I have made a huge mistake. I have made a huge mistake.

I have made a huge mistake. I have made a huge mistake.

I have made a huge mistake.

I have made a huge mistake. I have made a huge mistake.

I have made a huge mistake.

]

I'm so fucked up. I'm so fucked up. I'm so fucked up. I'm so fucked up. I'm so fucked up. I'm so fucked up. I'm so fucked up. I'm so fucked up. I'm so fucked up. I'm so fucked up. I'm so fucked up. I'm so fucked up. I'm so fucked up. I'm so fucked up. I'm so fucked up.

The only thing that really matters in the grand scheme of the universe is you.

Think about that as you scream, killing the young and innocent in their sleep.

ChpasManifesto:

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

ee iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii'm so fucked up i'm so fucked up

This was the first time that Billiam had ever touched it, It was magical. Absolutely brilliant. He swore from that day on he would never not tuch it, it had to be felt, he needed this feeling. Just thinking about it made shivers go through his body/spleen. He was in love he realized, absolut extasy WITH HIMSELF. He was a narsacist. But their love could not be subdued. He was going to feel this all the time. he had to feel it, he loved doing this. This thing. This feeling. tuching his eye ball was the most thrilling thing he had ever done. He fapped like his life dependend on was panic.

eye faping. its a thing. I am a serial fapist. an eye fapist!

/ / _ \ \

/ | | - \ | \

\ | \ \ _\\ | / ← Le Eye FAP

\ _\_\ \_ /

\ \

\ \

this is the canvas in which i choose to thrust upon my insanity… sexualy. like thrusting as in to hump… sexualy...

Gandafralf is and walways shall be of the panic.

+_ IW

IN A WHOLE IN THE GROUND, THERE LIVED A CHAPTER:

Sf\a=eif-w]-fawed0a erifoieoqw]qqW

F

E

E

W

2

I AM AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN, with magic testies!

Oh come on. Don't be a bleech denyer ".sdf.,m_&

Pew Pew pew pew pew pew pew pew It is hypothesized that it has very very mhm so it is almost just purely weight or mass those two are com[pletely different hginshould not go to the quad She's going insane! ! !

GOODBYE, father.

GOODBYE, mother.

GOODBYE, barry.

GOODBYE, moon.

GOODBYE, retinas.

Once upon a time, Barry was walking down the street when he met eyes with...a giant talking dildo named Frank the Master. Frank was an old friend of Gandalf's, who he had happened to recently reconnect with on the Spacebooks. The fingers of this said dildo where made out of condoms and where there first were holes in the condoms, sticky liquid oozed out slowly.

Start from beginning:

focus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus if you have gotten to this point you should really start to focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focusfocus focus focus focu foc fuc fuck

Apparently, I need to focus.

Hcatpre 999999999:

ONCE upton a time, there was a giant, throbbing excrement. His name was boB?

.ecnis reve natas gnivres ylippah dna pihsnoitalaer sepceisretni/naibsel gnivol a ni neeb evah lliJ dna ytteb dnA "!uoy tresid dna dnuora nur annog reven nwod, nwod uoy tel annog reven pu ouy evig annog reveN" reh ot siht gnas ehS .ytteB ot gnas dna htuom elttil reh denepo lliJ .ytteB devol ehs taht dezilaer won lliJ dna, lliJ devol dah ytteB .reh ot deklat dna egac reh fo tnorfni tas dah ytteB semit eht lla ,reh def dah ytteB taht semit eht lla derebmemer lliJ taorht tneconni dna tfos 'sytteB otni swalc reh tsurht lliJ erofeb tsuJ .negriv a dedeen ehs ,namuh yna tsuj esu t'ndluoc lliJ nehw emit thgir eht rof lliJ yb ylefas dleh neeb dah ytteB .ytteB deman lrig llams a saw renwo reH .renwo gnipeels reh sdrawot ylwols tperc dna knat ssalg reh ffo tuo delwarc lliJ .metciv tsal reh dnuof ehS .ydaer saw ehs thgin krad eno no nehT .mrof lannif reh no ekat ot hguone gnorts werg ehs llitnu efil reitne reh rof siht did ehS .traeh s'ti out tae ylwols dna sproc eht otni worrub neht dluow ehS .ekats eht ta hself rieht nrub dna natas ot snamuh ecifircas ot dekil lliJ .lliJ deman barc a saw ereht ecnO .esrever ni eb ot sah retpahc sihT

666 retpahC

Chapter Bleached:

Barry squeezed his hard member into the small opening of Gandalf's butt-crevice while Gandlaf mewed in delight. Perhaps it was because Frank the Master was in town, but Fandaslgf was in a very good mood lately, perhaps because Frnak the Master was in town. Gandraf was worried about the outcome and taboo of his relationship with Barry the Bee, and did not trust himself to actually comprehend the societal implications of his actions.

Gandlfraf masks the true feelings.

Two years and many moons ago, EggsBenedict Cumbercum decided to climb Barry's giant foaming AIDS grenade and thrusted himself into a heaping, stinking vat of baby juice fresh from barry's shining urethra. Futhermore, Bendydick Cucumber opened his see-orbs and talk-hole and nearly drowned to discover the real Santa Claus. Jin got an erection.

HERNAN

Chaptter #83:

BenKenobi Cumbercorn was surprised to admit it, but seeing a stray picture of Barry the Bee produced feelings within himself that he had never rexperienced before.

"Are you the gatekeeper?" said BenjaminFranklin Cunderbutter. Gandalf looked at Barry's puckered love cave like a mother hamster about to eat her three-legged child. He remembered the day he first met Barry… It was a beautiful winter day. There was no snow on the ground, and the skies were the clearest blue he'd ever seen. He was building his famous penis-shaped fireworks in the Shire, with hobbit children peering from the safety of their houses in excitement,

knowing that they would see the fireworks at OH GOD

Chapter 1000

Bearnan waded through the river in search of Salmon to shove up his ashole. His hairy member sloshed through the water, teeth growling. Downstream, Solid Snake was waxing his small intestine with bleach when he heard the sound of Bearnan's cock, growling and splashing in the river. Stolid Snake became solid as diamonds at the sight of Bearnon's delicious animal cock. Now Bearnan noticiced Snake and eyed his precious asshole in delight. Standing up on his stubby hind legs, Bearnan roared "YIFF WITH ME."

"With pleasure" he replied.

Bearnan charged towards Snak and shoved his bear penis into Snake's but. His cock's rooster's cock, pumped up and down Snakes guts, licking the bleach off of Snake's small intestine with it's tounge. Over and over again, Bernan violated Snokes asshole."I'm really feeling it!" squealed Snake in delight. Bearnan was really feeling it too. He smiled with pleasure as he came with the force of one thousand tractors plowing corn fields in southern Indiana.

...Knowing they would see the fireworks at the next festival. Suddenly, Gandalf heard a small voice from the bottom of the basket…

"Gandalf, don't! I have an erection for you!"

Gandalf glanced curiously into the basket, wondering which creatures, and under which spells, had found their way into his supplies. To his surprise (supplies!), he saw nothing there aside from a single, lonely bee. Gandalf marvelled at the loneliness and sadness he saw on this bee's face and the mixed emotions with which the bee handled its huge black cawk. The bee looked up at him and smiled.

"My name's Barry. Sorry, I fell down here. I was too distracted by my erection."

"Begone, beast… or at least get out of there," Gandalf replied. "From where did you come?"

"Well, I came." Barry quickly tried to clean up the gallons of sticky love milk from his fuzz.

Gandalf felt honored. "Thank you, Barry. I can help you clean that up."

Barry agreed, and cleaned up his wings to the point that he could fly up to Gandalf's face. The gnarled old wizard opened his mouth to allow the bee passage to his slick tongue, huge and strong in comparison to the little bee, though not in comparison to the massive avian penile organ now thoroughly lodged in Gandalf's smooth throat. Gandalf and Barry shuddered in unison as Barry thrusted his bee cawk up and down in Gandalf's smooth tunnel. The hobbit children averted their eyes, with the exception of one young Samwise Gamgee.

Gandalf groaned uncontrollably, feeling filled with the pollen-coated bologna pony being smoothly but firmly heaved into his mouth. Barry's breathing became bloated. At the climax, Gandalf jizzed all over Barry's body, nearly drowning him in semen. He swallowed Barry's filthy love juices with

Chapter 68

Barry Jr. Jr. stood in the river. His rooster was hard. Across from him was Woody. "Your my favorite deputy" said Wooody.

"I know" replied Barry Jr., "I will deputy you all night"

Barry Jr. Jr. Jr. removed his shirt to reveal three niples on his chest. "Look in aw upon my niplets" he commanded. Woody looked really hard. He could no longer help himself and suckled the niplets with a big smile on his vagina. The suckiling continued untill Barry culminated chocolate bleech out of his niplits. Woody was covered in chocolate. He lapped it up like the dog he was.

Now Barry placed his seven meter cock into Woody's face vagina. They had lots of hot face vagina sex. Barry made sure to slowly rub the face vagina's labia first. He also made sure to rub Woody's clit a lot so he squirted AAAAALL over Barry, and slowly spelled out the alphabet on said clit. Then Barry Jr. Jr.'s son Barry Sr. buzzed into the room and waved her rump in their faeces. In responce, Woody and Barry Jr. shoved their rooster's into her tender bee-hind. "This rectum ain't big enough for the two of us" cried Woody, removed his wood because it was very hurt by the friction. Then Woody's 47 year old owner Andy came in and shoved his giant human rooster in Woody's plastic ass. There's a snake in my butt! "excalimed Wood." Andy poisoned Woodys water hole all night with his skicky com. Barry Jr. and Barry Jr. Jr. watched in jealousy.

Buzz Lightyear shook his head sadly. He knew what had happened. He had once been shoved into an anus. He knew.

He slowly vibrated as he performed his namesake. He went to infinity…. and beeyond.

Chapter 70

Berban Bincon sat in his office, snorting bleach. Suddenly the voice system thing in the cieling sayd, "you have a client." Berban sighed. He hated having having to deal with clients and he certaintly wasn't ready to handle one while he was high as fuck. The doors opened and in barged Bearnan, knocking stuff over with his massive niplet covered cock. "Not another bear," Berban grumbled to himself.

Capitulo Uno

En un agujero en el suelo, vivía un hobbit. No una agujero húmedo, sucio, repugnante, con restos de gusanos y olor a fango, ni tampoco un agujero seco, desnudo y arenoso, sin nada en que sentarse o que comer: era un agujero-hobbit, y eso significa muchas orgías. Un día, Dildo Daggins descansaba en su casa, su pene todavía dolorido de una larga noche de sexo con los otros hobbits, cuando Gandalf entró desnudo por la puerta. "¿¡Que estas haciendo!?" Dildo gritó, "¡No te invité aquí!"

"Cálmate respondió Gandalf," respondió Gandalf, "Estoy aquí para llevarte a una adventura a mi culo."

"Estás demasiado tarde, mi pene está roto de cansancio de anoche," el dijo.

"Yo entiendo. ¿Puedo besarte?," el dijo.

"Si, mi amor," el dijo.

Ellos besan apasionadamente. Sus cuerpos tocaron y fue muy erótico. El solitaria montaña de Gandalf creció muy grande, pero el supo que Dildo no quiso tener sexo. Cuando ellos terminaron, Gandalf dijo, "Espérame. Volveré en una semana con muchos dwarves para una orgía fenomenal." Dildo sonrió. No pudo esperar.

Moy bueno.

XChapter 71

Gobs of warm, salty precipitation cascaded down Barry Sr.'s face. It was the end of an era, as he and his wizard lover, like his fathers beefore him, have and had been prohibited to do the frickety frack. He and Gandloaf decided that it was their turn to change the tradition, and thus the decision to elope was born. (Along with about 50,000 egg-bee-babies)

It was a difficult one, of course, but a necessary evil in their generational conquest of love. For centuries, Gandalf had raised each generation of bees after the prior generation had all died of sexual injuries. (Anus's torn open, and the like.} [One of Barry's grandparents was actually crushed beeneath the massive weight of the penis's penis.]

Chaptere Une:

Une abeille aller à pied nerveux à Gandalf, les genoux de son abeilles frapper dans le temps gris. Aujourd'hui était un jour où il ne serait pas en profiter.

"Gandalf?"

"Puis-je vous aider, mon amour?"

«Je pense que je veux un divorce."

«Non! Comment pourriez-vous ?"

«Ce est pour votre propre sécurité ... Cette apocalypse, ce est de ma faute. Je aurais pu empêché en utilisant des préservatifs. Mais parce que je ne ai pas utilisé de préservatifs, vous avez maintenant les maladies sexuelles et, bien ..." Barry a souligné le monde mort couvert de sbires de pénis. «Je ne veux pas que tu meures dans ce monde. Vous devez revenir à votre propre monde."

Lysandre est apparu, pour tirer une électrode de sa crinière et rouge autodestruction sauvage, horrifié par la laideur de ce nouveau monde. Un pénis appartenant à un pénis a augmenté son trou du cul et est sorti une de ses oreilles, mais pas avant de la dévorer les intestins de Lysandre.

Professeur Sycamore remarqué morts, corps froid de Lysandre et a pleuré. Il ne pouvait pas résister, mais de donner une branlette Lysandre, une dernière fois. Si seuls les enfants sur le voyage avaient appris à Lysandre tôt.

Google Translate did an awful job of translating and back-translating this so good luck.

You've got a friend in me….

"You've got a friend in me," cried Buzz Lightyear as he entered Andy's girlfriend's vagina once more.

"I've got your friend in me", moaned Andy's girlfriend to Woody as he stared in horror and odd fascination.

Retpach #41:

John Wartson had been traveling fo a long while. He asked Shercawk, "can I come in your ass?" to which Shercock replied, "Come to your master, John". John came all over his master. This was entirely expected. What was onix-pected was that Brock, the Rock-type gym leader, was on his way to destroy the world atop his partner in crime, the penis's penis. Unbeknowst to most others, he himself had an Onix as his genetalia.

Brock reached his evil volcano base and laughed evilly, stroking his wooly bearded pokemonstrous cawk. Ash Ketchup licked his lips sensually. He also licked Pikachu's...ear as though it were his favorite snack, a [CRONUT]. A cronut is a crossiant-donut hybrid, which Ash knew because it was his favorite. Ash loved Cronuts so much that sometimes he had fantasies about them, such as sticking his dick in the hole. In fact, that's all he ever dreamed about, day and night; cronuts were his one purpose in life, and he loved them more than he loved the D.

They made him moist.

Chapter Dearest:

Pikachu was a good Pokemon, and he loved his trainer. He always won battles so that his trainer would smile and be happy. He always got good grades in Pokeschool so that his trainer would pat him on the back. He loved when his trainer would tuck him into bed, gently, as though Pikachu would break. He loved when his trainer undressed Pikachu before bathtime. He loved when his Trainer would bathe with him. He loved when his Trainer would put him on his hands and knees, and insert his monster cawk into Pikachu's naughty parts, carefully and gently. His trainer would telll Pikachu to relax. This made Pikachu feel strange, it hurt, but he knew his Trainer would never hurt him. Pikachu would mewl as Ash thrust his cawk in and out of Pikachu's asshole. When his Trainer was done, he would wrap Pikachu up in a soft towel and put him to bed. Pikachu loved when his Trainer would give him a kiss on the cheek. Pikachu was a good Pokemon, and he loved his trainer.

#001: Chapter ƒ

The ElectroMagentic Spectrum sighed to itself. Today was it's birthday ait falls right in here. Given that information, a blank sheet of notebook paper and draw the greenohsoeu effect, if you know wwhat it means, nd nobody remembered. Someone help me. Please, help me. I don't know how long I've been here, but I'm disoriented and I need your help. Please, just let them know.

Petri Pans was a young, playful young man who enjoyed Neverland. Suddenly, Craptain Hooker came and came on Petri. Young Petri's nubile belly button swelled in antici…..ptation.

"I'll never grow up...but my cawk will grow...up." swooned Mr. Pans.

On the day that the sun was darkened by the massive Penis's Penis, no one could think of much else but their cawk. Petri PAns swelled his belly button aggressively towards the Penis' Penis in order to intimidate it. The Penis's Penis mistook the swelled outie belly button as a penis, then stopped a moment to realize that if THAT's Petri Pan's penis, but he also has a penis between his legs, then… the Penis's Penis was not the only double cock in the world.

"Brother!", Penis-Penis yelled in hope..

"Hello, and I'm here to tell you about OUR LORD AND SAVIOR Diphallia! It is a common condition in Neverland. In fact, even the girls have two penises! Goodnight and goodbye!"

"Ehehehehehehe...neverland."

Chapter §§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

Cronut.

the

system oh god i dont want to live anymore

is

more heat… if u kno wut i mean….

ice ice baby

benedickt cumberbumsex

More heat/more melting of ice/more heat/positive feedback loop

ice age

i can't see

more heat mre ice more heat more ice

help me

Chapter XXIXXXXIXIXIXIXXXSEXI

"The albedo effect can take us in the other direction… Does that make cents?"

Excellent. *silence* *whispers*

"Before we watch this,

I have a short l

ittle video to show you

. It's about how sex wor

ks.

i nvisible non-toxic gas

It helps vizualise that greenhouse effects. An invisible nontoxic gas is cause for concern in your sex life. The is miniscule. The rest is radiated back as heat with an average temperature of 0 degrees farenheit. The greenhouse substances all act to trap escaping radiation. The net effect is to cause the earth's surface to warp up to an average of 59 degrees. IT's as real as gravity, we'd have an average before the freezing point of water if it were not since the industrial revolthere source of co2, fossil fuels like oil, natural gas."

C-C-CARBON

We are adding CO2 to the atmosphere. It's hard for people to understand absolute terms, it's fowls. At a biollion form of CO2 emitted to the when I startd my measurements, at the present time it's almost 7.

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Chapter 2L:

Beendyduck Cumebeeefrbitch ate a giant peach full of incest. (like Folgers)

He enjoyed a nice, hearty meal of dicks, as determined by the Telepathe Cafe, which reads your brain waves and serves you whatever you want to eat.

You can then surf those waves on your surfboard. Rock on, dude! ASuef's ip!

Chpaert 56 ½:

Today was the day that Benerairduct Cumulative reached his final destination form:

Chapter 9 /34

Vampire and his mistress were closely clinging together, in ecstasy.

Chasper the Friendly Ghost Part 2:

who do you call

Barry the Bee sensually caressed Bellen's lips, only to baby-bird her by vomiting acidic bee hell into her esophagas.

Beefore it was too late, she whispered sweet nothings into his ear. He whispered back to her, "have you seen the coming of the bees? they come in swarms, they come in droves, they come when the world ends, they come when the sun rises, they come when the sun sets, and they come… for you." Barry jizzed. Why not? After all, they're basically Big Brother. They can hear your thoughts, they could hear your thoughts then. Beephobes died by the millions. Some said this was comparable to The Great Bee War of 2015, though others hush those voices, saying that such a comparison was to compare apples and oranges, those sexy,

sexy oranges… Bellis limbo'd under the paper sign and declared that it was Tree-fourty last time. Bello, Billiam Broom. Bood bo bee bou b'gain.

Bellybrick Cocoabutter was disturbed at these turn of events.

Chapter 9/10: The Tale of Bellhop Cuddlehugger

tiddy

Chapped-ter 96:

dddddddd

His anaconda didn't want any until the buns were soaked in the sweet, sweet honey love juice emanating from Barry's love-harpoon. Soon, Barry's finger was soaked.

Afterwards, he awoke alone, needing a loved one.

Suddenly, Bearnan jumped through the window and into Barry's lap. This would have crushed Barry; beneath the grizzly bee-hemoth...however, Bearnan sat on Barry in such a way that Barry squeezed through Bearnan's tight, smooth rectum with ease. This pleased Bearnan and he urged Barry to continue his journey through the anus of Bearnan. A look of delight emerged from Bearnan's face as the bee was squirming through his puckered love cave. Boy toy named Troy used to live in detroit; big dope big money, he was making some coins; Bearnan sighed contentedly as he repeatedly spilled his seed on his custom gaming PC, and continued to play Brinebraft regardless. With much care, Barry continued his journey up Bearnan's rectum, slowly but surely suffocating, and loving it all the way, as breathplay was Barry's guilty pleasure, as was fruitplay, which unfortunately for Barry was not possible as he was smaller than most fruit, although technically he could always stick his bee dick in a pear or something, but anyway he was almost up...to no good through BEarnan's small intestine, tickling a ticking pipe bomb with his left noodle nip nipple used to live in detroit.

Chap2rFIVE:

Nipple.

A young nipple is in his room. Today is her birthday. What is the name of this nipple?

Nipple Nipple.

Chapter 19: Nipple Swing.

Bian Beidenbach was pleased with himself he pleased himself with swung off Hitoshi-kun's massive butt dorito chin because he had that one condition where he had more htan 2 nipples which is a condition that happens to both men and women but mostly men who are real life boners with the exception that All the same, these same people feel no shame in picking up equally bizarre objects and buying them. Within fifteen minutes of being there, my mom and I have witnessed the acquisition of a set of kitchen knives, half of whose handles are splintered; a porcelain statue of Captain hook; a footstool that was really a pedastal that was really a pedo-stool (a child-sized stool with an extra leg on the top) gained its royal rainbow powers by consuming the Prince and all the Prince's cousins. "Who will brighten our night sky now?", wondered the boy. In sadness, he shoved a handful of chocolate-covered bee stingers into his mouth. They were his binge food.

"I will," proclaimed Shrek, rising from the depths of the earth. "There is no more sky. There is only me." Sure enough, Shrek's massive body and big fat cawk blocked the boy's range of vision. There was no more sky; there was only Shrek. Little did the boy know that everynoe around the world had this same vantage point, gazing up at the glowing, onion-scented marvel of Shrek's diphallic rods and hairy balls. A small child pointed up at Shrek's pubes and said, "look, Mommy! I can see a whole 'nother galaxy!"

The mother laughed. Her child was seeing pubes, not a galaxy, surely?

Little did the girl, or the mother, or the boy, know that in fact, Shrek was expanding at the same rate as the universe. In fact, he had been the same size as the universe all along, and in his holy diphallic genital area was the birthplace of all time, space and onions to come. Shrek was love. Shrek was life. Bian Beidenbach shuddered. He hated onions.


	2. Chapter 2

Bian Beidenbach shuddered. He hated onions. He loved and hated Shrek. He'd hatefuck Shrek any day. Shrek heard his thought and DIVIDER 1

Woody looked up at the darkened sky and realized what he must have done. "I must unleashed my true potential. I must… become the true Woody." Woody transformed into a big ole plasdick cawk, which was comparable in scale to Mount Everest; he crushed hundreds along the way, and a single tear fell from his face (a penny-sized pimple-like appendage on the very tip), but he knew that this was but the price of saving the world. He stood, erect, and faced Shrek… but not before calling upon his best of all best friends, Andy and Buzz.

"Buzz, andy, you know what you have to do!"

"But Woody! We'll never be the same way again!", cried Andy, his voice breaking.

"I'm sorry, but… this is the cost! We will still be friends. It's this, or… an eternal darkness in which no friendship can live!" Woody replied.

Buzz and Andy dutifully crawled into Woody's urethra and began the long downward journey. Woody closed his hard plasdick eyes and began to sadly hum. "I've got a friend in me…"

"What are you doing in my swamp?" Shrek boomed as he gazed down, in his holiness, upon Woody. Shrek was no fool, and could recognize a competitor.

Woody called out in response. "I am Woody, creator of worlds, devourer of friendships, king of the toys, and lord in the world of movies! Identify yourself!"

Shrek laughed a deep, hearty, oniony laugh. He laughed for a long time.

"I am Shrek."

Everyone on the Earth trembled; they knew what those words meant. Shrek was no longer a name… it was an idea: Shrek was the destroyer of worlds. Shrek was the devourer of hope. Shrek was the beginning, and Shrek was the end. Shrek was the world in which everything existed. Shrek was the beacon, within which nothing could exist. Shrek was life, Shrek was death, Shrek was heaven, Shrek was hell, and onions were his messengers. The gravity and power of the universe was scarred and deepened upon the afraid, but glad, but reverent, but joyous minds of the Earth.

Woody trembled, too, but kept his ground. Bian Beidenbach was the first mere human to move, and he moved towards Woody. He trusted Woody and was glad to know that someone, SOMEONE, was willing to take a stand with him to fight God. Woody said nothing; it took most of his mortal power to merely stand and wait for Andy and Buzz.

Meanwhile, Andy and Buzz opened their eyes to see around them a void - not a yawning and voracious void, as one would expect in the land of death, but a void that was beautiful. They saw, as they did, with their souls and not their eyes, colors they could never have imagined. They saw themselves in each other, and for the first time in forever, they could not feel sadness, or loneliness, or pain. They only felt love. They were loved, and could love. The void expressed every fleeting thought with the joy of a million unimaginable colors.

"So, Andy, what do we do now?"

"I don't know. Woody must have eaten us for a reason…"

"You know, strangely enough, I'm not sad that Woody ate us anymore. I feel like everything is exactly as it should be, and like we'll be just fine…"

"We will, Buzz, we will."

"Do you want to…?"

Andy smiled. "I feel like it's what we are supposed to."

Andy picked up Buzz, his beloved friend, and sat down upon him in all his hard plastic joy. Buzz retracted his helmet and accepted the glory of Andy's rectum. Andy had been right - This was it! This was what they were supposed to do!

Woody began to glow and feel warmer, and with this feeling returned his confidence. Under the darkened ogre sky, he could smile again - the power and magic of friendship would, in fact, carry him through. "Come along, kid," he called out to Bian. "Ride me!"

Soft murmurs of the crowd began to harden as Shrek's foreskin, patterned like a map, massive and foreboding as death but as welcome as heaven, descended towards the earth. 'Shrek must be smiling', Woody thought, 'as he tries to penetrate the Earth's butthole, right down to its very magma core. But we will survive - Andy and Buzz's sacrifice will not have been for nothing - and the Earth will see another dawn.'

Bian Beidenbach mounted Woody's great wood and hung on tight as the transformation began.

Barry, a wizened old bee, sat down next to a little girl. Despite the ache in his back and the destruction all around him, he was smiling.

"So, kiddo, what do you think you'll do now?"

"Well, um… I'll sing and draw."

"That's good. So even though so much has changed, you can always keep doing those things, right?"

"Right."

"Right-o."

"Mister?"

"Yes?"

"Can you tell me the story from the beginning, about how the penocalypse started?"

"Well, alright." Barry cleared his throat, shook the cheeto dust from his long bee-ard, and began the tale.

"Once upon a time, there was a peaceful land, full of all sorts of lucious love. One day, some close friends looked up into the night sky and saw what was really there. The stars, the moon, the sky itself, had been fake all along. The reality of what the world was… Well, it was someone they called Shrek.

The people of the land at that time worshipped Shrek and manifested him in every form they could, in costume, in songs, in poetry, in art, and when they saw Shrek in his full glory, they were not afraid. They loved him. However, there were some who did not bee-lieve in Shrek… for example, a closely-knit group of friends and some random guy called Bian.

This angered Shrek, and so Shrek decided to take his ogre penis and stick it in the earth until every living being was launched into space. Just imagine me, you, everybody freezing to death and not having air to breathe and having our insides come out our noses."

The child laughed.

"The group of friends, of course, wouldn't stand to see their bee-autiful world destroyed by the terror of Shrek, so they bonded together and created what they thought was a dong to end all dongs. They called it the _Ultimate Expand_. The people said afterwards that the Expand dong could only be created by rough, passionate platonic buttsex and hard urethral vore… so perhaps that is what happened, after all. Ultimately, it doesn't matter how the Expand dong was created; we just know that they were able to defeat Shrek, restore the sky, and save the Earth.

When Shrek was destroyed, all of his particles, all of his particles' atoms, and all of his atoms' quarks dissolved into onions. Onions rained down from the sky and smashed cars, killed a few unfortunate pedestrians, and fed the homeless worldwide. The friends - Woody, Buzz, and Andy - were heroes. That's why, today, us old folk use the phrase 'you've got a friend in me' - because that's the phrase the friends used to transform into the Expand dong.

"Years later, onion plants grew everywhere. Whatever onions had not been eaten began to grow in flowerpots, in streets, in sewers, in gardens, in lawns, even in old trees. You see, us people used to eat things that weren't made of onion, back in the day before the Penocalypse."

The girl's jaw dropped. "Really? Onion wasn't everything?"

"Onion wasn't everything. Unfortunately, because onions grew in such abundance, no other plants could survive, and so neither could many of the animals, leaving the world with little choice but to eat onions for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Some called it a blessing from the Shrek they once knew and loved. Most people called it a curse - the curse of an angered, destroyed god.

Years later still, there was once a little bee who met the love of his life. They decided to get married and have many bee children, even though many people told them off - they called it bee-stiality, there were protests. I still have protest signs that say things like, 'don't let him bee your honey', in my garage… I look on them fondly now, because it's a sign that times have changed. Don't let anyone stop you from beeing who you want to bee, honey.

Anyway, one day a son of that bee woke up one morning to discover that his penis… had grown a penis. No explanation. He just had two dicks, one of which was on the other. He didn't do anything about it, because he thought, 'this is great! i can have so much kinky sex now!' which was, really, an innocent mistake. Time passed, and the penis's penis grew. Not only did it grow in size, it grew a mind. It began to eat things on its own. It began to attack Barry Jr. himself. Doctors were confounded. Any attempt to remove the double-penis ended in a mysterious unsolved homicide. By the time Barry Jr. realized what had gone wrong, it was too late. He awoke in the middle of the night to have his face chewed off, and the penis's penis didn't stop until it was chipping away at bone. It was free. The other kids of Barry, and his grandkids, were terrified… All the boys, and even some of the girls, began chopping off their genitalia. They didn't want it to happen to them. But first, being cautious of potential STDs, they had what would be the first and last incestual orgy of their lives. Meanwhile, the penis-penis began rampaging the land, devouring all in sight. It was still young, it was still small, it could have been stopped - but no one stopped it.

Before anyone knew what was happening, terror reigned on the Earth just like that terrible day of Shrek. But this time, the people were not fooled. Nobody believed any longer in a benevolent penis god. They feared the now-massive penis and all it stood for. The penis's gravitational pull was already ripping apart the world as they knew it. And then… well, it did what penises have been doing for all of your life. Tearing apart families, tearing apart the world. Sometimes it would stop its destruction to open its urethra wide and begin to sing "All Star", leaving behind any doubt in the world's mind that this was Shrek's revenge. The onion invasion was merely the seed to bring forth this new child of Shrek.

Woody and his friends were able to defeat the penispenis again, but…" Barry paused sadly. "Not without costing their own lives. Ah, yes, I'll never be able to forget it - watching someone drown in smegma.

Although the penispenis was defeated, it did not stop there. One at a time, the chopped-off genitals of Barry's children and grandchildren came to life, creating new disasters of their own. They tried to burn the genitals and mince them into meat patties, they tried to dissolve them in acid and then set them on fire again, but no amount of destruction could stop the emergence of these creatures - and they were always one by one!

But today is a lucky day, little girl, for today… Today was number 420. The last offspring of Barry. Unless Shrek decides to manifest is rage in other ways, we are safe for now."

"What happened to Barry and his lover?"

"Them? Oh, they just did anal and yiff all the time to cope with what was going on."

"Oh. Isn't that grown-up stuff?"

"Well, they were grown-ups."

"Oh yeah, they were. So… you mean… I never have to see again what I looked out my window and saw today?"

Barry paused, deeply touched by the honesty and depth of this child's question. It was a metaphor.

"Sure thing, m'lady."

Chapter 8,720,890

END OF PLOT ARC 1


	3. Chapter 3

ARC II

Chapter I:

Benadryl Cabbagepatch was aghast. Honestly, he was perplexed as to what was happening. John Warson had gone away for a long while, and with no companion he had tried to find something to do in his spare time.

This led to bONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A BEE EXCEPT IT WASN'T A BEE IT WAS A MAN IN A BEE SUIT AND HE UNZIPPED THE BEE SUIT AND SAT ON A DILDO AND JACKED OFF WHILE HE WAS AT THE FIREWORKS SHOW AND THEN A REAL ALPACA CAME UP TO THE BEE MAN AND SAID "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" AND THE BEE MAN SAID YES SO THEY HAD LOTS OF SEX AND WENT HOME WITH 2 NEW BABIES AND THEN GOT HIT BY A CAR, LIEK IF U CREY EVERY TIEM

WHEN THE BEE ALPACA BABBIES GREW UP IN AN ORPHANAGE DEY SED "ANYONE GOING TO ADOPT US?" "I DUN NO" SAID THE OTHER BABBIES. AND THEN A MAN IN A BEE SUIT BUT! A NEW MAN! IN A NEW BEE SUIT! CAME UP TO THE ORPHANAGE AND TOOK THE BEEPACA BABBIES AND WENT HOME AND PUT THEM IN HIS BASEMENT AND SED "HERE IS PAPER AND A PENCIL WRITE A BOOK I WILL MAKE MONEY MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" SO OBAMA SED "EVIL BEE MAN MUST DIE" BUT THE TINY BABY BEEPACA SED "NO I LOVE HIM! BEE-CAUSE…. HE LOOKS LIKE ME! I THINK WE ARE HIS KIDS!" AND SHE WUZ WRONG BUT THE BEE MAN CREYED A LITTLE BIT N SED "I LUV U TOO UR NEW NAME IS CAROL" SO BEE MAN AND CAROL WENT ON LOTS OF DATES AND WENT TO THE PLAYGROUND AND CAROL'S BROTHERS AND SISTERS KEPT WRITING THE BOOK IN THE BASEMENT BUT CAROL DIDENT CARE SHE HAD NO SOLE. FOLGERS.

DEN BARRT THE BEE WENT UP TO CAROL AND BEE MAN AND SED "CONGRATULATIONS, I HEAR BEESTALITY WAS RECENTLY LEGALIZED" N CAROL SED "GO AWAY OLD MAN I CAN SEE DEATH ON YOUR SHOULDER" N THE GRIM REEPER SED "SHIT" AND RAN AWAY AND THE BEE MAN PUNCHED BARRY N BARRY HAD 2 GO TO THE HOSPITAL BUT IT WUZ OK BEECAUSE BARRY WAS THE STRONGEST OF BEES SO CAROL WENT HOME WID BEE MAN AND DEY WENT 2 THA BASEMENT N FREED CAROLS SIBLINGS B4 SOCIAL SERVICES ARRIVED N CAROL SED 2 HER SIBLINGS "PLS LOOK HAPPY" SO THEY DECIDED THAT THE ONLY WAY 2 BE TRULY HAPPY WAS TO HAVE AN INCESTUAL FOLGERS ORGY SO DEY HAD AN ORGY AND BEE MAN JOINED IN AND CAROL WENT 2 WATCH TV. AND SOCIAL SERVICES CAME AND ARRESTED BEE MAN AND PUT THE BEEPACA CHILDREN IN THA ORPHINAGE AGAIN.

CAROL CREYED N WENT OUT TO THA STREET AND NEVR CAME BAK BUT SHE DIDENT NEED THA ORPHINAGE 2 STAY ALIVE BEE-CAUSE SHE WENT 2 DA HAIR DRESSER N THE HAIR DRESSER GAVE HER LONG EBONY BLACK HAIR WITH PURPLE STREEKS N RED TIPS N SHE CHANGED HER NAME TO EBONY DARKNESS DEMENTIA RAVEN WAY, N SO SHE LEFT WITHOUT PAYING AND THE COPS CAME AFTER EBONY DARKNESS DEMENTIA RAVEN WAY BUT SHE PRETENDED 2 BEE DED SO THEY WENT AWAY N SHE GOT UP AND LAUGHED EVVILLY AND GOT A SANDWICH AND PAYED FOR IT BY ASSASSINATING STEVE JOBS, "THINKING BEE" SHE SED.

bUT DEN BOOMERDICK CUCUMBERTITS HAD 2 GET ON THA CASE N HE SED "I fucking hate bees." AND THAT WUZ THE END OF EBONY DARKNESS DEMENTIA RAVEN WAY

Ben-Ghazi Cuddlekinz was very amused.

CHAPTERRAIN 45:

Once upon a time, there was a giant dildo mime, he went to the corner like "hit me baby spanish lime". He was arrested, because this, of course, was a sex crime. He had to do time.

However, he was busted out of prison by a buttplug clown itself, on its anus, had a huge frown. The cops were like, buddy, stop clowning around, but the anus clowned around town.

So the anus plug clown took the dildo mime away, forcing him to sail across the bay, Olé, and the wee little lass did an impression of George Takei ("oh my"). The weed was too cray.

George Costanza wished to copulate. But he was busy playing the third edition of Skate. It was getting late. So in the end, he sat around and tried to masturbate. Unfortunately, it ended up being an attempt to masticate. His dick got stuck in a gate. G'day, mate.

Piece of piss. The piss emanated from a snake with a terrible hiss. The snake was swiss. Wait, swiss like the cheese or Swiss like the nationality?

** S**

Chspyer 3.14159265358575233846:

In a world that only the ancients could percieve, in a past before time, the Element of Slime eyed the very Beginning - the Beginning before the dickacpocalypse.

Chapter 5:

Though the Dickapocalypse wouldn't happen until the year 2016, it began before time and space itself.

George Constanza looked in anguish. The meaning of life, the secrets of the universe… No matter how far back he looked, all he saw was crudely drawn penises.

"Phallus", he cried "Phallus".

"You called?" his wife answered.

"Wait, I don't even have a wife anymore"

"I know. I thought you had forgotten that your wife's life was… ogre now." His wife became Shrek and shoved George up his

Chapter 6

:

Chapter 7:

George Costa-Rica consumed vacuous quantities of . This gave him an idea: What if he made a website dedicated specifically to his ass? That is how goatse was created.

Chapter 8:

8===D~~ ({|})

8===|}) thrustthrustthrustthrust

Once upon a time, a giant lynx-sheep hybrid named Effet projectile vomited into the orifice of a huge pile of horse semen. She dove into it, practicing her synchronized yiffing routine. She spent a total of 10 whole hours just pawing her giant dik-dik-hole.

Dik-Dik.

The Dik-Dik did a trick-trick. Then it got sick-sick because it gave its own vagina a lick-lick. It all happened so quick-quick.

Chapter Clitoris Fuckers USA:

"u wanna go m8"

Chapter Dick Lickers EU:

A puppy named Spot went to the dog park one day with his owner, Billy. Billy was a nice kid, a second grader in his local elementary school. Billy was sad because his father had just told him that his mother and his new little brother had gone to a special place. Billy and his father visited the cemetary every day after school and work, weeping softly at their loss. Billy didn't want to go to the cemetary today, though, because he was tired of dwelling on the past. Spot licked Billy's shin to remind him to play with him.

"Fetch, boy." Billy threw a stick that he had found on the ground of the old-growth forest. As Spot ran away, Billy started to idly wonder - what if Spot and the stick never came back?

Chapter 8008135 and 455 CAN:

sssssdsssssactuallyworkonmathlikeyoucan'tdootherworkssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssspringsmeestersyllabusjuniorstakingibexamabmbasadorsupdatecommunitycouncilrepreesetnativeimportantdateshistorylaurathiswillputyouaheadoftherestsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssfootfetish

Chapter Dirty Diaper Lovers CN:

Ass and titties. Ass Ass and Titties. Ass ass titties titties ass and Barney.

I love you, you love me, he loves Paul, Paul loves cooking. Cooking loves breakfast, breakfast loves sacrificing his loved ones to Stan. They all die. If cooking loves breakfast, who loves lunch? And who loves dinner, for that matter?

WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?one!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?one!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS?!

you can't.

i'm not there either.

Cha[ter2-:

.

\.' '._o \_|_) ))

\ _( ,/ /._.' /

\ _ (  
>)v -'._ )

/ \\ /

-"-"-"-"-

Bambi loves the marijuanas. His father was angry with him because a prince should not act stoned, you fucking stoner. But bambi loved the marijuanas too much. Just like cooking loved breakfast, you see. Just like cooking by the book.

Or booking by the cook. There are too many. Bocking byt eh cok.

It's a piece of cake to bake a bambi cake…laced with his marijuanas. Only his marijuanas, no one else's. Only his. ONLY HIS.

O͏̝̠̬̜N̴͚͉L͚̭̹̫Y̴̱̯ ̦̣̤̀ͅͅH̼͓͕̖I̗̮̬̗̳S͓͓̠̟

On the day of his fateful encounter with Ronno, Bambi shouted "Motherfucker" and promptly passed out from exhaustion, the source of which was how long he'd spent fucking his mom's corpse the previous night. You see, Bambi's mother was never truly dead… She lived on in his little deer heart. And penis. And in his dick. Which was little."It's not the size" Bambi's mother used to tell him "It's the ritual of fucking that makes the world go around. No matter how big or small you are, remember that you can make a difference in this world. But not in a vagina or an anus or another orifice even if it might not fit. Even if you're small," she began to sing, "You can still put semen in a vagina,"

"Shut the fuck up mom, I'm playing Minecraft!"

"You're a fucking loser, bro!" replied Thumper, cheeto dust spraying out of his mouth. "You can't even snipe!"

Thumper then drowned in a pile of mountain dew, just like the sheep drowned in a pile of horse semen. The circle of life is a myth. Save yourselves before they crown a new one.

RUN

w0lololololo XD 4eva MLG 2PRO QUICKSCOPES ONLY SCRUB BLAZE IT

Chapter 9:

SCP-049 hummed a little ditty to himself as he cried into the baby Bambies. SCP-173 pretty much just stuck his concrete bumhole into the baby Bambies. One of the baby Bambies pissed all over SCP-173, as it was still in the throes of death.

Algeria.

SCP-049 started to masturbate with a melancholy expression behind his expressionless plague doctor mask. "So, Billy, what do you feel like doing today?"

"I dunno," SCP-173 replied, despite lack of a mouth or internal vocal organs. "Probably just scaring someone shitless again. They're all so dumb, you know? You could just use eye drops instead of blinking, or just blink one eye at a time, but no…"

"Yeah, I know what you mean. They're stupid. They think that the Death has been extinct for over 600 years. That's impossible because I know it's here… I can sense it. I am the cure; how could I be here without the disease?"

"You wanna fuck?"

"Sure, as long as you have no STDs."

SCP-096 walked in on sexytimes between the plague doctor and the concrete monster. "Sup, guys! Can I join in?"

Billy and the Doctor rolled towards SCP-096 through cooperative effort and rolled him up into the whirlwind of macabre penile fantasy.

"Jimmy, have you been working on your metabolism? You seem more energetic than usual," remarked the Doctor.

"Sure," SCP-096 replied. "I've been having a lot of sex. That burns calories fast, doesn't it?"

"Yep, that's how I keep these rock-hard abs," added Billy. The others laughed.

Jimmmy, the Doctor, and Billy walked into a bar. Everyone shat themselves and died. The Doctor began surgery immediately, Billy began to snap the necks of whoever the Doctor didn't claim first, and Jimmy simply hid his face in his hands and wailed. They had a good night out on the town, repeating this process at bars across Narnia until they discovered some hobo dwarves around a campfire.

Jimmy was the first to grab a mic.

"JUST A SMALL TOWN GIRL-"

"LIVING IN A LONELY WORLD," Billy interjected.

"She took the midnight train going anywhere."

"Oh, come on, Doc, you gotta get behind the music!"

"JUST A CITY BOY"

"BORN AND RAISED IN SOUTH DETROIT"

"He took the midnight train-"

"..."

"..."

Doctor coughed. "GOIN' ANYWHERE."

Billy and Jimmy cheered. The hobos could only look on in horror.

In a synchronized fashion, to their horror, the hobos started to background dance for Billy and the doctor, uncontrollably.

Chapped-Terd 11:

Naked anaconda.

Naked anaconda.

Nae kedan aconda

Capitulo Uno de Verde

The office was dark and dull, illuminated only by a soft chalky light that sifted in through the shutters. It flowed quietly through the room, casting a green glow over the desk, before dispersing into the darkness. Dr. Brown James idled aimlessly in his chair, with no real goal in mind. The sign on the door read "Brown James, private eye", but it couldn't have been a more misleading title, for he hadn't seen a case in years. Why was it that no one sought him for help, he wondered. Was it be the cluttered state of his office, papers an pens spilled out all over the room, giving it an unprofessional appearence? Could it be that with his old age he was seen as senile and useless? Or was it perhaps the two-foot pool of horse semen that covered his floor? Indeed, it gave off quite a stench, and was known to make visitors quite bilious. If only he could be bothered to stand up and open the door, then it could flow out down the hall to Jamie Finch's office. Then it would be Jamie's problem. He chuckled at the thought of horse semen viscously ambling into Jamie's office. Truly, he hated Jamie. Jamie always got the good cases. He was practically world renown, while Brown had only slipped further and further into the depths of his office (and the horse semen). Oh how he would love to fill Finch's office with semen. But that wouldn't happen anytime soon, because he wasn't about to stand up for the first time in a couple years just to play a prank on Finch. As his mind wandered over these thoughts the neon light flickered on and off throughout the night. He tilted his gaze towards its source, a cheap, sickly bar called Tequila de Verde, which sat sadly on the other side of the street. In fact, most of the city's buildings were tattered and worn from the long years of loneliness they faced once suburbia fever had stricken the country. Suddenly, his door barged open, or more accurately inched open quite slowly due to the thick pool of semen. George Costanza uncomfortably entered the room and unswervingly waded through the sludge up to Brown's desk. "Um hmph", he coughed. Brown remained motionless in his chair. "UM HMPh", Costanza barked again. Brown lazily lifted an arm and parted his hair. Finally he spoke: "What unfortunate spirit thou art, to appear unto me and not another. Surley, as this door hath remainith closeth for ageless millennia, it indeed remainith closeth at the hour present. Methinks thou art but a creature of my own mind, whom I hath conjured from the depths of boredom to gift solace unto myself. If thou waseth summoned by any other hand, perhaps thou wouldith findith thouith existence to be of interest, but since it was I who birthed you, your existence is but pitiful and meaningless as is mine."

"Lhisten Bhuddy. Ya Sthupid Lhittle Mhind Dhidn't crheate mhe, nhor dhid I chome outa ya vhagina." George Constanza paused to let the laughing track laugh at the word "vagina". It was funny because it was an inappropriate word, and inappropriate words are always funny. Not that it would matter if it wasn't an inappropriate word, because anything that came out of George Constanza's mouth was comedy gold. Yes, on TV, stars like Constanza can make anything become hysterical. It doesn't even have to be funny. This is truly the marvel of sitcom, the cutting edge of modern society.

"I meant birth in the figurative sense", replied Brown, his mind too feeble to understand Constanza's ingenious humor.

Constanza sighed and growled, "Lhisten bhuddy, I whanted to shee Fhinch fhor mhy chase, bhut he ish out skhicking hhorse phenises up his uhrethra, so yhou'll have to do." The laugh track played again, but this time twice as long because he had said two inappropriate words. "Ahnywhays, there's bheen ah mhurder ahnd I nheed a phrivate ehye ohn thhe case."

"A murder? Now you have my interest, I , Brown James, spoke. I stood up for the first time in years and wandered out the door with Constanza. And that kids, is how I met your mother.

Welcome to the space jam.

and cum on and slam and

My children looked up at me curiously, their horselike, endearingly ugly faces full of curiosity - but not without hesitation. "So, Dad, those pictures of horses you keep in the attic-"

"Shh, your mother doesn't need to know about those."

"But I do," retorted my daughter Palomino coyly. "I want to know."

"Then do not bestow this knowledge upon any other mortal in the realm… Keep this amongst yourselves."

I led my kids up to the attic, a space much like my office - dusty, underused, the same chair in the same place, door blocked by a few feet thick of horse semen. There were no footprints or fingerprints in the dust, and that horse semen was still there… so how had my children discovered my secret stash in the first place?

"I like this one." Before I had time to react, my son Belgian was sitting on the desk, holding up what was surely my favorite book of all time - "Horses and Ponies". It was simple. Most importantly, those were the highest damn resolution photos of horses I'd seen in my life.

"Well, son, that first one there… I mean, do you see those muscles?"

"Yeah, he looks like a good horse."

"I sucked his dick once."

"Really? What was it like?"

I paused as the bittersweet feeling of good memories washed over me. "Sweet. It was sweet. See, he tastes like your mother, but sweeter."

"Do you love our mom?"

"Of course, but… We have an understanding. We fuck, then I fuck horses."

Palomino looked to the ground for a moment, giving me pause. Someday soon, she would figure out her true heritage, and when she did… what would she think of me? She _should_ congratulate me for bringing such a beautiful horse-human hybrid into the world. Perhaps she would be my excuse to see my old ex again - a stunning black Friesian…

I began to masturbate with my horse cock, strangely out of place on my mostly human body. My children sat down in a circle, knowing what time it was: it was time to replenish the horse semen supply, and that could only mean one thing. They would have to shove it all into a pile _before _their mother overheard.

Before I could shower my brood with a heavenly rain, I froze, then quickly tucked my horse cock uncomfortably back into my boxers. It was too late. Costanza had heard. He'd find us up here and then…

"Youshe look comforthable. Can I joihn in?"

"Certainly, love of my life…"

And then the horse cocks came back out. The children began to laugh in relief.

"Shweet'art?"

"Yes?"

"I have a shecret… an' I think… wit' the whole family relaschxing like this…"

"Go ahead."

The children huddled around my feet as the transformation began before me. The excitement caused me to prematurely spew horse semen all over the floor, but it didn't matter - oh, it didn't matter at all. Before I knew what I was seeing, I was laying eyes on my old lover, my secret, guilty pleasure… It was her. It was the Friesian horse of my dreams.

"I alwaysh knew, you shee?"

"Oh, Darling, I… I'm sorry," I added softly.

"No worriesh, honey. I'm jusht glad to be here with you an' be honesht for the firsht time in forevr…"

"Costanza, does this mean-"

"Yesh," he cut me off. "I'm Mom."

This meant… This meant that Palomino was our child all along. I had performed the cesarean section on my broodmare so many years ago, and through all the blood, sweat, and tears, I had wondered - would Costanza hate me? I had always wondered why Costanza hadn't been home that night and why he was so accepting of his new child. It had been his child all along. It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah…

In ecstacy, Costanza spewed more horse semen onto the floor. My children drank it up like the glorious little angel centaurs they were, four legs and wings and all. I didn't have to hide anymore. My life was complete.

I sat down in that dusty office chair for the first time in a while. Costanza looked up at me and nodded in understanding.

"Come along, children. Let's go downstairs. Daddy's where he belongs now."

Chapter 546:

He isn't home yet.

No, he's home, but he _isn't home yet. _

Not yet.

He knows something, he realizes. He knows a lot of things, but this one thing… this is _something. _Something else. Something new.

Yesterday will happen eventually, he decides. But for now, let us remain as is. He nods to himself, enveloped in thought. _It is, _he ponders. _It is us. _

He stands from his worn red armchair, arching his back and rotating his neck. It is time, he knows, to begin the day.

He meanders to his kitchen. It's empty. Of course it is; it's been empty for several weeks now. But he just can't get used to the emptiness, the crushing silence, the utterly deafening whine of nothingness. But he knows that he must eventually. The emptiness will remain where it is. So it is, so it will be, and so it has been since…

Since _Then._

Since _Them._

Two of Them, as he recalls. Two of them, deadly in their might, descending from the heavens and biting deep into the Earth's crust like a hot knife into butter. So many died that day.

And the emptiness in his kitchen was born.

He pulls a chipped white chair away from the counter, easing himself down upon it. Is that really what his life has come to? Up from one chair, down onto another?

Not for long, of course.

He Knows Something.

He knows what must happen for it to be enacted.

He reaches into his pocket and withdraws a small box.

The box in question is not a thing of beauty, nor of ugliness; significance nor apathy. The box, with its faux leather casing and gold-painted, plastic latch, is simply a Thing. It simply _is._

But what resides within, he knows, is more. What resides within _Is More. _

He eases the nail of his right index finger underneath the weak latch and flicks it open, hearing the soft _click _that reports its release. He closes his hand around its lid and begins to pull.

But he soon finds that he cannot pull.

The box is not locked, not sealed, not latched. But his hands, they impede the lid's progress. As if his own body knows what is to come, as if it, too, knows Something, it refuses to obey his commands.

Defeated, he sets the box in the center of the table, its white paint chipped and scratched with age. He looks anywhere but the three empty chairs that surround it, anywhere but the emptiness of what used to be. He knows that the emptiness makes him weak, makes him long for what was, what never will be again.

But what if that is not the case?

The three vacancies could easily multiply to three hundred, three thousand, three million if he does not go through with this.

The box, he tells himself.

Something.

But he is and is not home yet.

Cursing his own frailty, he pounds a fist onto the table, producing a sharp rattle. Open it! Open the accursed thing! Open Something!

He forces himself to stare into the vacancies, to see what cannot be seen.

They are gone, he tells himself. They are gone and they always will be. They have been gone since those two descended into his own little version of reality.

He is home, but he, too, is home.

The box.

Something.

His hands obey.

He reaches out and plucks its nondescript form from the table and prizes open the lid.

Ah.

Here it is, he realizes.

I knew Something.

I was home.

Satisfied, he snaps the lid shut before anyone sees.

Today was, he thinks to himself. It _was._

That is more than can be said for yesterday, for tomorrow.

Today, he _was, _and he Knew, and he did it.

For the vacancies' recent inhabitants.

You can come home now.

"Daddy's home"

(_Whoever added "Daddy's home has broken the rules and must be lnched."_)

Chapter 88

Capitulo Dos de Verde

Brown and Costanza arrived at the scene of the crime. Brown was awed by how much had changed since he'd last ventured out. So many nifty inventions had danced their way into the world, like the car, and the refrigerator. It was all so flabbergasting that he didn't know what to even say. "Say,", he said, "how is the old chap Johannes Gutenberg doing. Haven't seen him in quite a while. Still owes me a couple bucks"

"Ih'm afhraid hes bheen dhead fhor qhuite a fhew chenturies."[cue laughtrack]

"Oh" he said and spoke no more for a long time. The two men took in the scene that unveiled itself before them; The ghastly carcass of Bambi's mother lay sprawled out on the road. The city stood stagnant around them, an empty background offering no clues, yet saturated with mystery. Mystery that swirled around the murdered corpse in a sharp blizzard of excitement. For now the city withheld its secrets, but soon, Brown would unravel them. And with those unraveled secrets he would make a sweater. Yes, he thought to himself, a good sweater. Professor Brown James leaned down and gave the victim a good whiff. "I know this smell" he proclaimed. Costanza raised his nonexistent eyebrows in surprise. "Yes, this is the stench of Jamie Finch. Dirty Bastard, I knew there was more to him than met the eye."

"Rheely! What dhoes he smhell lhike?" [cue laughtrack]

"He smells like a rotting corpse."

Costanza stared down at the rotting corpse. "Jhames, I dhon't whanna inshult yhou or ahnything, bhut I think that mhight bhe bhecause yho jhust snhiffed ahn acthual rhotting chorpse."[hahahaha]

"Preposterous! I'm positive Finch is behind this. But first, I'll need to investigate further." Mr. James moved closer to the corpse and pulled out his magnifying glass. He felt the body. It was cold. It had been at least several hours since the murder had occurred. Maybe that was because they had stopped at Jimmy Johns on the way there to eat. Nether the less, the murderer was long gone. Brown removed his hand from the body and inspected the pavement. It was barren and broken. Chunks had eroded away to the rain, despairingly waiting to be replaced. Not that that would happen. The roads, like the rest of the city, had long been forgotten by the outside world. Brown tried to pull his mind away from this. The sad state of the city always made him feel hollow inside. He now focused on finding clues. He noticed a few pieces of lint spread about on the ground. He examined them under the magnifying glass. There was nothing extraordinary about them. They were just pieces of lint. He took a sample for the lab anyways. "This could later prove to be an important clue." He said to Constanza, who he had noticed was watching him.

"Whell, whe'z khinda nhext tho ah dhry chleaners, bhut ihf yhou shay theyz imphortant clhues then shure."[hehe], he replied pointing to the laundromat next to them titled, Ropa de Verde. The neon red light from its sign casted an ominous feel over the scene, as if they were in the depths of hell itself.

"Whatever", scoffed Brown, "just keep in mind that I'm the detective here, not you."

"Shure. Yhouz the bhoss."[pfffhhht]

.

Brown put his hand back on the body. He didn't know why, unlike the first time, there was no actual reason to do so. His mind began to wander and he started to caress the voluptuous curves of Bambi's dead mom.

"Uhhhhhh, whatchha dhoin'?"[teehee], Costanza stuttered nervously. Brown took his hand back off the corpse. Quickly and stiffly he stood up. He walked over to Costanza and smiled. "I think I've got this case in the bag, my friend."

"Rheely? What have yhou dhiscovered?"[bwahahahahah]. Brown didn't say anything. In truth, he had no idea what the fuck he was doing. The two men stood silent under the moonlight for a long time. Neither spoke. After a few minutes, their gazes met. Brown blushed and looked away. "You know Costanza... ...uh, spending all this time with you, eating at Jimmy Johns, hanging out in my office, examining dead bodies... ...it's been really...". Browns cheeks were now as red as the plump tomatoes at aunt Marie's harvest party. God, those are fucking great tomatoes.

"Iht's bheen rheely what?"[hohoho] Costanza impatiently replied.

"uh... ...it's been... ...been really...". A waterfall of sweat was pouring down his face.

"Chome ohn, sphit iht ouht!"[Ahahaha] Costanza snapped.

"it's... ...it's... ... B-BAKA! "he screamed and ran away down the street, tears streaming across his face. Costanza was left alone in the road, quite perplexed.

_I looked up at the sky and saw myself. When I looked down again, I saw myself again in faces - first the faces of my family, then of my friends, then of strangers. I understood. I was alone all along._

Capitulo Tres de Verde

The case was going nowhere. Brown lay motionless in his office, his ceiling fan brushing the air about aimlessly and the soft, flickering buzz of the neon light crawling in through the window. Alone, he waited for nothing. Time seemed to meander along at an immeasurable pace. He had long lost track of it. It had condensed into one endless block. The past was the present. The present was the past. The future lay everywhere, seeping into the pores of his broken soul. How had he arrived in this state, he wondered. Ah yes, he, a child, had exposed himself to the world, entrusted it with his love. But it had betrayed him. It had created the illusion of kindness and sincerity only to snatch it all away in an instant. Perhaps the case could have been solved by now, but he no longer possessed the strength to return outside. So here he was now. The murderer's identity remained an ambiguous puzzle. The ceiling fan continued to twirl. The neon sign continued to buzz. Horse semen continued to drip out of the ventilation shaft. The hollow wind continued to bear away at the city. And there he continued to lie, empty and broken.

He may have continued on this way for all eternity, if it was not for a sudden interruption. The ventilation shaft burst open, its metal covering clattering and clanging across the room. Out from it burst a sea of shiny silver liquid. It swung around the sides of the room, uprooting everything; shelves, cabinets, the desk, and even Browns frail body. It performed furious gyrations around the center of the room, devouring all it had taken into a massive whirlpool. Brown couldn't breath. He felt as if the sea had wrapped its grizzly hands around his neck and flung his body around with the force of the sun itself. Finally, the pain stopped. Brown opened his eyes to find himself weightless in a milky void, laced with dancing silver thread. Before him, a mystical creature stood, indescribable through words. It bellowed, "I AM THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST! LOOK UPON THE MEMORIES WITH WHICH YOU REFUSE TO FACE!" Suddenly Brown was plunged onto a moist earth. He wearily stood up. He could smell sweet apples and golden honey. Velvet leaves hung from the trees and flowed in a gentle river of wind. On the porch sat a young Brown, his cheeks painted with tears, and another boy. "Why" said the young Brown, "why does my mommy have to be dead." The other boy remained silent and reached his arms around Brown, tightly hugging him. For a while neither of them spoke. The only sound was Browns muffled sobs. Finally, the other boy said, "I don't know why she had to die and I won't pretend to know, but I have a feeling. A feeling that nature is traveling along a path, and that everything which unfolds does so for a reason. We as humans travel that path, and although we may have our times of sorrow, we are moving, in the end, towards a bright future." There was now complete silence. After a minute, Brown said "Will you be with me forever."

"Yes", the other boy spoke warmly, "we will keep traveling this path together." Brown started to cry again. The older Brown started to cry as well. Suddenly the scene shifted. Brown saw himself again, this time as a young detective, on the roof of a building. His outstretched arm held a pistol, aimed directly at another man's chest. It was night, and the city was deserted. Brown remembered now. This was the night that the city became the way that it was at present. This was the night that the shops closed, the windows were boarded up, and those who remained became shallow images of their past selves. The night that Muerte de Verde opened up, its cool blue neon light covering the newly empty streets in melancholy. Atop the roof, the other man cried out "Why must you do this!? Why must you kill me!"

With a single tear in his eye, Brown replied, "Because nature has told me that it is the right thing to do. The only thing to do. I don't know why nature wants this, and I won't pretend to know. But what I do know is that nature is traveling along a path, and that everything which unfolds does so for a reason. We as humans travel that path, and although we may have our times of sorrow, we are moving, in the end, towards a bright future. Ever since you told me that on the porch that day, my life has changed. And now I know that I must secure the future of humanity." Both men were crying now. There was a time for which neither spoke, the scene only accented by the soft flow of the wind. At last the near silence was pierced by the sound of the bullet, and the man was dead.

Brown found himself back in the void. Another indescribable creature stood before him. "I AM THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PRESENT," it asserted, "I WILL SHOW YOU THE WORLD OUTSIDE YOUR OFFICE WHICH YOU REFUSE TO ENTER." Brown stumbled out onto a street. He was back in the city. It was night, as it always was. In fact, he couldn't remember a time when it was day. Homeless men lay starving in piles of clothes and filth. Underpaid factory workers were crammed like pigs into a creaky bus, which sprayed muck from the streets onto the motionless bodies on the sidewalk. In the distance a bone chilling wind howled, only interrupted by occasional gunshots. More gang violence. More police brutality. More innocents killed for no reason. Brown felt a tug on his sleeve. It was a poor child, whose face was tattered and stained from the coal of the factories and from numerous blows, likely made by the parents. The child's raised hands asked for anything, food, money, yet Brown had nothing to give. Brown looked at the city once more. "Bright future my ass," he thought, "nature has taken us into the depths of hell itself." Before he knew it, he had slipped back into the void. A third, strange creature stood before him. "I suppose that you are the ghost of Christmas future," said Brown.

"I AM THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS FUTURE," said the creature. "I WILL SHOW YOU WHAT IS TO COME." A bright light shot forwards, momentarily blinding Brown. His eyes adjusted and finally he was able to make out the scene. Before him were hundreds of crudely drawn horse penises. Suddenly, he woke up back in his office. It was as he'd left it. The fan still wobbled about. The neon still buzzed. Brown took a couple of beep heavy breaths. From that day on he never did cocaine again.

Chapter One

A rustle.

A clang.

A crash.

A creak.

A scream of horror.

A bullet-ridden corpse, rising from the mortuary table upon which it lay.

A hum of energy as it hovers into the air.

A wreath of fine brown fur cascading from the corpse.

A son, knowing not that his mother walks the earth once more.

A plot twist, taking the form of a resurrected murder victim.

A new beginning.

A platoon of guards chasing the carcass of Bambi's mother from the crematorium.

A city, dark and unknowing, laying before the undead deer's ill-gotten powers.

A smoking crater, the only remains of New York City.

A new foe.

A new beginning for Batman, as the whole world thinks he dies saving Gotham.

Chapter 18:

Go into the shaft.

Go into the shaft.

Go into the shaft.

Go into the shaft.

Go into the shaft.

Go into the shaft.

Go into the shaf.

Go into the shaft.

Go into the Shaq.

_If I had been alone all along, then who was I as others knew me? Or was that me knowing myself?_

_Is everyone alone? _

_Does anyone else exist?_

_Maybe I don't exist..._

Angel piss.

I wish I'd gotten in the fucking robot.

Shaq does as well.

He goes into the Earth.

A Shaq shaft.

Shaq's shaft.

Shaq's shaft in a Shaq shaft,

A Shaq shaft in Shaq's shaft.

Ouch.

I know, I know I've let you down.. I've been a fool to myself… I thought that I could live for no one else… but now, through all the hurt and pain, it's time for me to accept the ones you love mean more than anything. So with sadness in my heart, I feel the best thing I can do is end it all and leave forever. What's done is done, it feels so bad… What once was happy, now is sad… I'll never love again. My world is ending

I take a look at my enormous peeeeniissss, and I forget.

Chappppppppppeepeepppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppenisppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppepeppppppppppppppter 8008135:

Once in a while, I stare out at the dark void that is our humanity and I weep. My oatmeal is bland and watery. I think of my mother. I weep.

Chatper 18 ½:

Bambi is the first to see his arisen mother enter the vast concrete jungle. He sees the green energy pouring from her eyes and mouth, he sees the destruction and chaos in her wake, but he does not see his mother. All he sees is a threat, a foe, something to fear.

This is all that saves him from his untimely demise.

Had he known that his mother sailed into the city, borne upon a sea of pure plasma, he surely would have been wracked with grief beforehand unknown to mankind. But good fortune was with him that day, praise be to Shrek, and he was able to flee with his very life.

As his hooves carried him across the slowly melting pavement, his eyes flicked hither and thither, taking in the horrors wrought by his unknown giver of birth, from the aforementioned slowly melting pavement to the slightly more rapidly melting faces of human victims as their flesh hissed and sizzled from their skulls. A sea of grinning, blackened skeletons lay before him in macabre glory, a parade of death that advanced steadily into the city.

When the searing corona of deadly plasma was within inches of his quivering tail, its progress was halted, its race run. The half-life of the sinister wave of heat had petered out, leaving behind it a vast crater of pure, ash-ridden death. Never before had he seen destruction on this scale, nor in such a brief period. Who had committed this atrocity? What earthly being could possibly have torn the very Earth asunder with its demonic powers?

He knew that there was no chance of survival. The entity that had so laid to waste several square miles of cityscape could snuff him out in an instant. Death was inevitable.

If he was going to die, he was going to die a hero.

Before the emerald light could gather anew, he ducked into a gun shop that had escaped destruction by mere feet and scanned the metal-laden racks for something that could penetrate the dense shield of energy that surrounded his foe. Finally, his gaze fell upon a Smith & Wesson bolt-action hunting rifle, the most high-powered firearm in the small alcove. But as his shaking hooves fell upon its lacquered stock, a memory stirred within him. A memory of fire, of ice and death, of a hunter and his quarry.

The gun that had felled his mother, he now realized, was identical in make and model to the one now enclosed in his shuddering forelegs.

The weapon clattered to the ground, the impact muffled by a thick layer of carpet. Could he do it? Could he really wield the rifle that had brought so much suffering into his being? Could he take a life in the same manner in which the unknown hunter had taken his mother's?

Yes, he decided.

Yes.

This gun that had destroyed his life would now save millions of others.

With fresh resolve gripping his rectum, he hefted the sinister weapon from the ground and shouldered the stock, cramming his right hoof into the trigger guard as his left flicked off the safety and adjusted the scope. He pulled back the bolt and slotted a fresh bullet into the chamber, the single brass round almost symbolic in nature. One shot had ended one life, and one would save his own.

A single bullet, a single shot, and the world would be free from this malevolent being.

He left the shop with his antlers held high, weapon cradled firmly in his arms. With a casual, almost careless motion, he pushed the bolt back into position with a satisfying crunch of shifting metal. He stepped into the center of the road, the sole survivor, facing down the menace that had caused so much misery.

It hovered in the night sky before him in all its horrid glory, green light cascading from its form. He could see that it was gathering energy for a second attack, preparing for the thrust that would wipe the city from the landscape forever.

But that would never happen.

He leveled the barrel of the rifle, squeezing one eye shut and peering into the scope with the other. His breathing slowed as he remembered his training, his many years of discipline under the great Barry Bee.

_Take a deep breath, _he could hear the wise, ravishing insect whisper seductively into his ear. _Firmly grasp it within your chest. Let it spread into your thick, muscular thighs and steady your hand._

A sense of ease seeped into his mind as his body became still, comforted by the memory of Barry's words. And finally, the scope's miniscule red point of light affixed itself upon the breast of his enemy.

A gasp of horror escaped his lips.

His mother.

He was aiming at his mother.

_Do it! _he heard Barry order, cracking his cattle prod across Bambi's tight buttocks. _Take the shot! Accursed the the consequences! You bring shame upon your family, O weakest of deer. You bring dishonor upon your cow. You bring dishonor upon your mother._

_No!_ he thought. _No! I shall honor my mother to my dying breath! I can never raise a hoof against her!_

_Then do it, _Barry whispered. _Squeeze the trigger like you squeezed Shia Labeouf. Take that monster down. Your mother would not have wanted it to end like this. She would have wanted you to put her to rest._

_And she would have been proud that her son possesses the strength to do what must be done._

And it was then that Bambi knew.

He had to do it.

It was time.

A simple flex of his hoof pulled the trigger back, snapping the hammer into position. It connected with the steel backing of the bullet's casing, a single spark bursting from the point of impact. And the spark, the one spark that would end the war, ignited the deposit of black, coarse gunpowder that rested behind the lead cylinder. The resulting explosion propelled the bullet from its casing, a fine trail of smoke chasing it through the night sky. It took barely a quarter of a second to cross the distance between Bambi and his twisted mother as the butt of the rifle slammed into Bambi's shoulder like the butt of Gandalf the Grey.

The cone of lead penetrated the demon's skull, liquefying its diseased brain and punching out through the back. Time seemed to slow down as the second death of Bambi's mother ignited a chain reaction that emitted a glowing ball of pure flame into the air. The crater below her was deepened and widened, Bambi caught in the intense red glow.

He watched the wall of inferno progress toward him, letting the gun drop from his hooves at last. It was over.

It was done.

And many years later, as his skeleton was uncovered by archaeologists, he would be hailed as a martyr, as the first blow against the descending storm in the impending war that would swallow centuries in its yawning void of darkness. He became a beacon of hope in an endless night, a rallying point for the forces of justice.

Woody would fall, Shrek would rise, and Bambi would be remembered forever.

Chapter Conglomerate

_Is this a touch?_

For so long, I was cold. For an eternity, maybe. But out of the darkness, I felt the warmth of a living touch.

_I'm not alone._

_I'm not alone!_

I began to piece my memories together, that had been scattered to the wind by that fatal blow. I followed the distant spark of light, breaking my dark cover of death.

_Where am I going? Why am I going?_

_Is it because of him?_

The darkness melted from my field of vision and was replaced by alien shapes and colors, towering grayness against an unfamiliar dark sky, a cold, rough texture against my face. I laid there, baffled, trying to make sense of this new world; at least the world of darkness had been simple.

_I can breathe._

Discovering this sensation as if for the first time, I began to breathe. I concentrated on the act, paying close attention to my ribs expanding, my nose quivering in the cold, and the feeling of fresh air. As the act of drawing breath became more natural to me, I opened my eyes a little more. I could see… stars, those were stars. Motionless on what I finally discerned as the ground, I stared at the stars, the next recognizable beacon in this world.

This process proceeded cyclically. I could see light, darkness, water, wind, plants… humans… The hours passed. As I absorbed the world around me, I began to be aware of my body. Before I knew what it was, I stood. I stared. I took a step.

_I'm alive._

Where had I been?

_This is where I was before._

How was this possible?

…_.Bambi._

That memory rang through my mind like a great, clear bell. I felt it shatter every other semblance of thought. My ears twitched forward, my nostrils flared, and my muscles tensed. I had to follow through on this memory.

_Where is my baby?_

My body resisted me, but my mind drove me effortlessly. I opened my mouth to cry out. "Bambi?"

My words became a form I could not understand. There were loud noises, flashing lights, screaming people. I was frightened. I could not understand… But there was a new path before me. Was Bambi there? I followed.

I called out again. The flashing lights grew brighter, the noises grew louder, and in time, my mind began to shut out anything - anything at all - aside from my singular goal. If I could not understand these noises and lights, then I did not need them. All I needed was myself and my son.

"Bambi?" I called out. More lights. Another path before me. I stepped onto the black earth, which crumbled slightly under my step. I broke into a run; I tripped over my own precarious legs, but felt no pain upon my landing - directly onto my face. I did not have time to consider the implications of being free of pain, and I could not have realized that I was also free from the bonds of sentience.

These stone trees fell before me, this earth burned before me, and I did not care. I didn't have to be alone if I found Bambi. _Bambi _didn't have to be alone if I found him.

I staggered through miles of concrete jungle under a green sky, only faintly aware of the sense of unease the humans gave me. Something about them meant _run_. I shrugged off the feeling in favor of my singular mission.

_Is that…_

No, it couldn't be… It stood on two legs and carried a… rifle. A burning sense of turmoil began within me as I recognized the tool of my destruction.

_But it has to be..._

Did he remember me?

_Bambi?_

"Ba-"

I began to understand. An unbearable force met with my forehead, a familiar feeling that swept me off my feet. I fell. Where was I going? Why was everything on fire? Why was.. Bambi on fire?

The last thing I saw before I met with the darkness again was the flame I'd lit, destroying my child. Before I could reconcile with my conscious thoughts on this vision, the darkness consumed me. Its yawning maw stripped me of senses and thoughts. Tired, I embraced its warmth and emptiness.

_So I _was _alone after all. _

,

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It takes a lot to make a poo

Especially when it's me and you.

:)

_Who are you if there is no one else around you?_

_How would you define yourself differently if your only border was your mind?_

_How do you discern yourself from others?_

_What are you?_

_Who could you be?_

_What could you be?_

_Would you be anybody at all, if you were alone?_

Capitulo Cuatro de Verde

The man's stubby, carrot fingers trickled down the piano keys., squishing and stretching notes into a calm, jazzy tune. Sunlight wafted in through the large windows, casting the cafe in a golden film. Brown squinted his eyes. It was the first time the sun had risen in a long time. When was the last time it had graced the sky with its presence? He couldn't quite remember. No. That was a lie. He didn't want to remember. But there was no use now. The ghost had bound his gaze to that night, and now he could not free his view. The memory of that last sunset slowly drifted back into his mind. He had watched, thinking it would be the last time the sun would be seen, setting the buildings ablaze with crimson light as it tucked itself beyond the horizon forever. But here it was now. The night was over. Brown smiled. He had decided to resist the past no longer.

The chime of the bell marked the entrance of the man. Brown looked up to see Costanza. "Sho, howh ish the cahse choming ahlong?"[ehahaha]

"Well, honestly it hasn't. I've just been doing drugs in my office for the past few days," he said embarrassed, "you might as well just hire Finch to solve your case."

"Nha, he's ohverrated. Bhut shay, yhou whouldn't mhind rhefunding mhe a bhit of what I've phaid yhou, rhight? I'm shure yhou uhnderstand, chonsidering that yhou've bheen whasting thime uhp to nhow."[geeheehee]

"Well... ...I would pay you something, but I used all the money you gave me to buy the drugs." Brown expected Costanza to blow up in anger, but to his surprise Costanza started to chuckle:

"hehehehe... ...HeHAheHeHAha... HAHAHAHA" [HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH]

Brrown couldn't help but laugh himself. He understood now. He was Costanza. And Costanza hadn't accepted him until he had accepted himself. But now, they were one. The rest of the cafe's customers looked up in irritation at the two men. Brown rolled his eyes at them and turned back to Costanza. Costanza grabbed his hand and pulled him up from his chair. "Lhets gho."[aghaghaugh]

"Where to?"

"Ahnywhere. Where the whind thakes uhs."[ehahehahe] With that, the two men ran out of the cafe, hand in hand. The rest of the day passed by in a colorful blur of dancing light. The next thing he knew, Brown was on a Ferris wheel with Costanza, the cool night air tossing itself around them. They existed in their own world; A bubble wrapped in a sea of stars. Said stars were not of the sky, Brown realized. They were of the city. It had never looked this beautiful, with its long sleek buildings dressed in crystal lights. Costanza leaned into Browns shoulder. "Heyh"[haha]

"Whats up"

"I jhust whanted to shay. This ish the mhost fhun Ih've had ihn a while"[hahaha]

"Me too. Um Costanza"

"Whaht"[hahahaha]

"I want to tell you something. I realize now that I had tried to say this too soon before. But now is the right time."

"mmm?"[hahahaha]

"Costanza... ...I love you." He had said it. He had let out his secret. His heart was aflame and the wind's sound saturated his soul with the fear of rejection. Sitting in the sky, he waited for a response. Finally it came.

"Brown... ...I love you too"[HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA]

Brown and Costanza leaned their heads together and kissed. The Ferris wheel came to a stop. Brown exited and found himself back in the office. He was in bliss. The phone rang. He didn't even remember having a phone. He picked it up. A voice came out. "Meet me on top of the roof of your office building. I murdered the mother of Bambi, and I will do the same to you. Tonight you have found love, but I will end your life before you ever get to enjoy it." The phone clicked, and was dead. Brown's face was pale and broken. It was a voice he knew.

Chapter Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka

It was on a grassy cliff beside a waterfall, in the dead of night. Okami Amaterasu moved her tail in circles… and circles… and circles, fully focused on her task. On the ground directly in front of her sat Jean Valjean, patiently waiting in the moonlight.

Jean Valjean hallucinated the soft sound of a pan flute in the distance as Amaterasu used Bloom on his penis. He smiled. "My name is Jean Valjean…"

Ammy barked happily and sat down, preparing to lick the erect penis. Although she came from another world, she could tell that Valjean was hungry like the wolf; hot on the city, night is a wire; steam in the subway, earth is afire; dududududududududududududududu; woman you want me, give me a sign; and catch my breathing even closer behind; dududududududududududududududu; in touch with the ground, i'm on a hunt, i'm after you; smell like i sound, i'm lost in a crowd, and i'm hungry like the wolf!

Issun had front-row seats to Valjean and Amaterasu's sweet loving. He looked away and rolled his eyes. "_Am I the only one who prefers titties to dick?"_ he wondered.

The Crimson Helm crept up behind a distracted Amaterasu, whose tail was slowly swishing in the breeze. Unfortunately for the Crimson Helm, Ammy used Power Slash by mistake, tearing the demon in two. The demonic curse spread everywhere, killing grass and trees in a straight north-south line from the place of its death. The water turned red. Amaterasu continued to use her long, rough doggy tongue on Jean Valjean's quivering member; Valjean breathed heavily.

A Ganondorf breezed onto rectums of days yet to come proposed by men such as Piglet and Link. Zelda quickly suffocated Piglet's testicles with tons of socks. So the giant anaconda sailed wraps around the dong and grasps firmly it. Winnie the Pooh decapitated his mother's corpse in front of Christopher Robin.

El Final de Verde

He had made the climb up the stairs as slow as possible. He knew he had to go. He would never have another chance. The staircase creaked lightly and each step echoed down its length. One step. Now another. Time seemed to be suspended, waiting to resume once he reached the top. Finally, he arrived on the roof. He was alone. He looked around, both scarred for his life and irritated at the absence of the murderer. Minutes passed, marked only by the scathing wind and the soft hum of the city. He gave up. He supposed the murderer wouldn't show. He began to turn around, but then froze. A gun had been pushed into the back of his head. "Don't move," said a voice.

"I thought I recognized you over the phone." He looked down to see his own penis. "So it was you all along. The mastermind behind the murder."

"And not only that one," bragged Brown's penis, "I've orchestrated a series of murders over the past twenty years. Jon Stewart, Christian Bale, Oscar the grouch, Amy Poehler, Mufasa. All Me."

"You monster!" said Brown in frightful awe.

"He he he, and now, I will kill you." The gun cocked behind his head. Above him the silver moon looked down unforgivingly and merciless. The sharp wind painfully stabbed his body, foreshadowing his soon to be death. In that moment, he knew what he must do. "You think you've already won," he said, "but you don't understand. You're already dead." Brown's penis only had a moment to express confusion before the sharp blade of Brown's pocket knife sliced into it. Auburn blood splattered across the roof, and the dismantled member fell onto the floor. With its last breath, it mocked, "You've sealed your own fate. You'll die of blood loss. I told you that I would steal your life tonight, and I have done so." The penis was dead.

Brown staggered across the roof towards the staircase, a trail of blood following behind. He knew that he would never make it to a person or phone in time, but he had to try. He was almost to the staircase when he fell. He could walk no more. "So," he thought, "this is how I'll die. In the end, my penis won." All of a sudden, a bright light bathed over Brown. Above him, he saw the image of giant alpaca. It bellowed, "I AM THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS TIME. FOR YOUR BRAVERY, I SHALL REWARD YOU." A hot white light shot forward from the place where Brown's penis once resided. Something started to form. Brown could only look on in amazement. Out from his groin sprung a glorious horse cock. It came with an unheard of force, spewing scalding horse semen across time and space. It flowed into his office many years ago. It flooded into cities of the past, destroying ancient civilizations. It conglomerated into a giant space disk that became known as the Milky Way. It landed in a pile in which a giant lynx-sheep hybrid named Effet drowned herself. It was fucking glorious. Brown was overcome in awe and fainted.

Years had past. Brown sat in the cafe with Costanza across from him. They laughed at old jokes, and recounted stories of the past. They had been dating for several years. There was talk amongst their friends of a marriage proposal coming soon. Brown looked out the window. The buildings glowed golden in the warm sunlight. The streets were bright and prosperous. "Ah," he thought, gazing at the beautiful light, "so this is the bright future which nature has brought."

END OF STORY ARC II


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